It is day 4 of the road back. Day 6 if you count the travel time, but I don't. I should understand that this is a fresh condition. Skin is still soft, not yet toughened and input dial is still set high and needs to come down in order to filter the cacophony. I know this. Really, I do. And, even more important, I accept this. That doesn't make it easy. Though I think it does make it easier.
So far this is what I have discovered:
Virtually everywhere I go my proprioception is impaired.
I feel safe and warm in only a few places:
-my bathtub
-my bed
-table at Pizzaiolo (twice now, so I am certain it is a good place)
-my car, but mostly when it is in my driveway with the dog in the backseat
Sadly missing from that list are:
-my kitchen
-my Alanon meeting
-talking to anyone face to face
What I have also discovered is a certainty that today is day 4 and only day 4 and today is nothing more than the fourth day. It is not the fourth day of anything though, it is just a day and this is how this day is. I am not thinking of day 12 or day 75, only today.

I feel like a molting turtle - whether or not they do is of no import. In the meantime, I have installed a sentry at the gate.
PS. If it practices long and with heart, can a second degree burn progress to a third degree burn?
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