Easy does it

Now seriously, how tough could it be? I got in the car, drove south, virtually on the same road for the entire two day trip. No language change, no challenging dietary deviations and a common value system where great coffee is prized as highly as great wine. And yet.

It is day 4 of the road back. Day 6 if you count the travel time, but I don't. I should understand that this is a fresh condition. Skin is still soft, not yet toughened and input dial is still set high and needs to come down in order to filter the cacophony. I know this. Really, I do. And, even more important, I accept this. That doesn't make it easy. Though I think it does make it easier.

So far this is what I have discovered:

Virtually everywhere I go my proprioception is impaired.

I feel safe and warm in only a few places:

-my bathtub
-my bed
-table at Pizzaiolo (twice now, so I am certain it is a good place)
-my car, but mostly when it is in my driveway with the dog in the backseat

Sadly missing from that list are:

-my kitchen
-my Alanon meeting
-talking to anyone face to face

What I have also discovered is a certainty that today is day 4 and only day 4 and today is nothing more than the fourth day. It is not the fourth day of anything though, it is just a day and this is how this day is. I am not thinking of day 12 or day 75, only today.



I feel like a molting turtle - whether or not they do is of no import. In the meantime, I have installed a sentry at the gate.


PS. If it practices long and with heart, can a second degree burn progress to a third degree burn?